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John needs to drive the car and Sad can’t drive — Methods for pulling people out of dissociation in public and private.

My husband and I occasionally ran into situations where, as useful as his alters were and as much as they were absolutely allowed to exist in their own right while their traumas were worked out, it was significantly more convenient to have his conscious mind in charge. For example, when he got triggered at work, when we were doing something social, when we were in public areas and his more volatile alters came out, on an airplane sitting across from the in-flight staff, and especially when he was driving or needed to drive. Thankfully his Mask/Arbitrator alter could drive, that was very lucky! Felt and Sandpaper Frankly, this one works better when supervised. If your partner isn’t supervised, only give them the felt. We learned the hard way that you can damage yourself with sandpaper. However, having your partner keep these around in their pocket can be handy. Feeling first the felt and then the sandpaper brings the mind into the present, reminds them of physical sensation
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Should I stay or should I go? Finding the best solution for you both.

   The first thing you have to decide as a partner of someone with DID is: Do you want to remain being a partner of someone with DID?             It sounds simple, but it is an incredibly difficult decision to make. There will always be one friend who tells you that you have chosen wrong, you will always have doubts, but it is important to remember that this is a choice you get to make over and over again. They have to live with DID because of their life experience. You don’t. You get to re-choose every day to live with this person, with their struggles, to either help them heal or choose to walk away and heal yourself in the hopes that things will work out better for you both in the long run. The only problem is, that the longer you stay, the more damage you will cause when you go – so keep collateral in mind. If you think you can’t handle it, go earlier rather than later and if you can, try to make sure they have the support of friends and family.         
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Resources Concerning Dissociative Identity Disorder

ORGANISATIONS Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors: http://www.pods-online.org.uk/ International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation:  http://www.isst-d.org/ European Society for Trauma and Dissociation   http://www.estd.org/ The Pottergate Centre for Dissociation and Trauma:  http://dissociation.co.uk/ http://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk/ BOOKS ABOUT THERAPY Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele and Onno van der Hart, Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation (2011) ISSTD “Guidelines for treating dissociative identity disorder in adults, 3rd revision”, in Journal of Trauma and Dissociation vol.12:115-198. (2011)  Sandra Paulsen, Looking Through the Eyes of Trauma and Dissociation: An illustrated guide for EMDR therapists and clients (2009) Carol Forgash and Margaret Copely, Healing the Heart of Trauma and Dissociation with EMDR and Ego State Therapy (2008) Valerie Sinason, Attachment, Trauma and Multiplicity: Working with Dissociative Iden
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What do you do if your Husband is 4 Different People? Have a partner with Complex PTSD/DID? You are not alone. Part 1: Our Story

Well, actually, John used to be 9 different people, but…we’re working on it. Yes, what was once called Multiple Personality Disorder is real and no, these people are not ‘crazy.’ If anything, they might be the pinnacle of human resilience! Turns out it is a coping mechanism for a severe trauma, or possibly several severe traumas, during childhood. Adults still living with this coping mechanism are the way they are because they managed as children to segregate certain parts of their mind from other parts in order to continue living and functioning normally while simultaneously enduring horribly painful or frightening situations. In many cases this is caused by sexual assault, often by a person who cares for them, but not always. For some it is a result of having to understand neglect. How would a toddler explain to itself why no one seems to love it or care for it? And for some it is the result of a parent becoming suddenly very ill at an age where they are incapable of und
Location: United Kingdom
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